A dish best served cold...

A friend and I were talking online today and she mentioned an acquaintance of hers who is heavily into revenge and retribution. The conversation was pretty interesting and it went on quite awhile. Long after we finished talking, I still had that conversation in my mind. And tonight, when I took a walk, it occupied my thoughts.

A dish best served cold...

That's what "they" say about revenge, you know, that's it's a dish best served cold. I wonder how true that is. I've never been a vengeful person. I suppose there have been times in my life when it would have been easy to seek pay back and there definitely have been a few times when the thought of 'getting even' appealed to me but they were fleeting thoughts and never seriously considered.

I've known a few people like that, though, and one in particular stands out. He's so hateful and spiteful that he's very hard to like, much less love. In fact, he's pushed away almost everyone who has loved or tried to love him. Several of his children barely talk to him or don't talk to him and the adult ones are full of animosity toward him. They are some very angry young people and almost all of it is directed at him. And he wonders why he's a 'failure'. I could tell him and they could tell him but he won't listen to anyone else.

He's lost the love and respect of many people and doesn't even seem to care. He even caused the destruction of at least one of his marriages because of his hateful and non-forgiving ways. His wife had something to do with it, too, no doubt. It's always a two way street and she freely admits to being wrong in many things. But apparently she tried to talk to him numerous times, even asked him for help in overcoming some of her own issues but he wasn't willing to give that. In fact, when she tried to talk to him he accused her of basically stealing his thunder. In other words, he refused to believe that the issues she had that negatively affected him were directly related to (and some actually caused by) his own issues. Sounds a little selfish to me.

This man is quite the narcissist and from what I can tell he might also be a sociopath. Now that's a scary combination and one to be avoided at all costs, I think.

To make matters more difficult, this man claims he is a Christian and can quote (and twist) scripture with the best of them. I know that scripture tells of retribution but it's God directed, not man directed. At least that's how it reads to me but I'm not the authority this man is on that subject so what do I know? I don't think he is a Christian, though. I think he's a bitter, angry man who is hell bent, literally, on using his knowledge of scripture to justify his perverse desires and to hurt those who he perceives as having hurt him.

It's really sad, too. If something doesn't change, he'll die miserable and alone because of his idea that revenge and punishment are his to mete out as he sees fit. And after he's gone, the only visitors to his final resting place will be the maggots. His children and others who wanted and tried to love him will briefly mourn his passing but there will be relief mixed with the grief and the feeling of an immense burden being lifted from them. And to think that showing humility, consideration, and genuine love (not his sick idea of love) for others could prevent that. What a waste of what could have been a great life.

So, is revenge really a dish best served cold? Or is it one best served in a scalding, steaming, in your face sort of way?

I don't know but it's something to ponder on cool nights. And perhaps even to help keep a person warm. :-)